Belief is a wonderful thing.
It's individual in choice and lifts the spirit. I respect believers and non-believers alike. Among the most photographed believers, Arizona Cardinal Kurt Warner and University of Florida's Tim Tebow are consistent "thank you" spokesmen for the heavenly spirit's support.
You've heard the salutations as a microphone is propped in front of the game hero's smiling mug. The winning sheen shining brightly, they lean in and say something like: "First, I want to thank God who made this all possible..."
Okay. Check.
I have often wondered about how God picks sides -- Israel-Palestine, McCain-Obama, Cardinals-Eagles. This is not a new curiosity. As a sixth-grade forward for St. Clement, we used to huddle before the basketball game. Coach would lead us in prayer and then in unison we would say: "Queen of Victory, pray for us!"
True sentiment aligned with our teachings.
And yet, I'd look over at the team from St. Veronica and see them praying too. I never understood how God dealt with these two appeals for victory. Very puzzling. How did She decide whose team should win?
The prattle has continued over the years. Truly nice guys. Thugs who were fresh from an arrest. Gnarled coaches. Even a grade schooler interviewed after a game recently, all want to thank some greater spirit for the "W."
America has come to accept this as a part of the culture. But that acceptance is only for one true God. Only their God. Not any deviation from the script. To help you understand exactly what I'm talking about, I offer four different variations that would be interesting to hear after this weekend's games. I'd be curious to hear what you think of these choices.
How would America collectively react to any of the following?:
1. "I want to thank Satan for swinging that deal with me. It helped me gain that extra step I needed to outrun the cornerback to the goal line. And I'm telling you, he made my fingers feel like Spiderman's. Everything my QB threw today stuck like glue to them."
2. "I need to start out with a big respectful shout out to Allah. All good things begin with him. All things are because of him including my performance in this game, the cool coin I got from the cereal commercial and introducing me to Lola last night at the club."
3. "I want to thank God for causing my knee injury. It pretty much blows up my career and I have no other skills really. Just football and partying. But without God looking in, I probably would have sucked even more. I don't want to put the blame all on Him for making me fumble on the goal line. But damn, I was holding that ball tight."
4. "I don't want to thank any other worldly being. I want to get the record straight. Just my mom and dad. My coaches, all of them I had growing up. Everyone who taught me well. Fed me, clothed me and even whacked me over the head when it got too big."
As for me, I want to thank God for helping me write this blog. If you believe in Him or Her, you know it would not have been possible without their help. If you don't believe, you have your own theories. But if there are any typos or misstatements, I'm not really taking credit -- or the blame.
